I was raised as a Southern Baptist, but I'm not a Christian anymore. I have converted to a faith called Deism, a faith centered around rationality, free will, and the willingness to adapt if proven wrong. At last I have a faith that suits everything I've always thought but never had the guts to say in church. At last I have a faith that does not penalize me for being not only a thinking woman, but simply a woman. I am tired of having it shoved down my throat that a penis makes a man more fit to serve God.
I do still believe in God, but I believe in God because nature seems to me overpowering evidence of a divine intelligence. I believe God to be equal parts male and female and, finding "It" an inappropriate way to refer to my Creator, have elected simply to alternate between using the male and female pronouns in reference to my God.
I don't believe in miracles. I never have. I don't believe in the Immaculate Conception. It makes a nice story and all, but that's really all I believe it to be. I think Jesus was a great teacher, a great healer, a great philosopher, a great man. But only a man.
I believe that my Goddess gave me a rational mind and that She expects me to use it. I am done with blind dogma. I live by a much simpler moral compass now: "An ye harm none, do what ye will." I believe in treating everyone as well as I possibly can regardless of their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or whatever else. As for the afterlife, I do believe in heaven and hell, but not exactly in the Christian sense, and I certainly don't presume to know who's going where. All I can do is live the best life that I can by serving my God by serving others.
Some of you might recognize the wording of my guiding moral principle as the Wiccan Rede. I love the traditions of many faiths. By virtue of my Christian background, I have read the Bible through twice and have a great deal of fondness for the old hymns. I have also read the Koran and loved its poetry. I continue to read about faiths other than my own, not only in search of the nuggets of truth among the dogma, but also so that I can have a greater understanding of the belief systems around me. Since Deism has no particular set of holidays, I'm willing to celebrate whatever's being celebrated around me, be it Christmas, Chanukah, or Solstice.
As for my attendance at religious services: I do not go to church. For now, I consider my faith something to be worked out between myself and God, and since He is omnipresent, I can speak with Him right where I am. Should I ever feel the need to worship in a group, I would most likely seek out a Unitarian Universalist congregation. As matters currently stand, though, I prefer frequent and private prayer. However, I don't tend to ask God for favors anymore, choosing to forgo the notion of Him as a "Secret Santa in the sky" (bonus points if you pick up the song reference or bother to run that through Google). Instead, when I do address my Goddess, it is to thank Her for all that I've been given. When I pray for the needs of others, I ask only that Her will be done, which is the important thing anyway, since She can see the big picture and I can't. That said, I don't think God actually takes a very active role in our lives. I think He intervenes occasionally, but mostly leaves us to our own devices.
What you will not see me, as a Deist, do is try to convert you. I carry in me an inherent and strong dislike of playing "my religion is better than yours." I'm willing to talk about what I believe; I'm willing to listen to what you believe in the interest of comparing and contrasting, and I am open to friendly debate. But friendly debate only, with no attempts at conversion by either side. My religion is better than yours -- for me. Your religion is better than mine -- for you. Now if you decide that my religion is better for you than your current one and adopt it, then fine. I'd be delighted to be able to discuss these sorts of things with a fellow Deist. But if you still think Christianity or Islam or Wicca is still the faith that touches you and answers your questions, then fine. I'm delighted that we both have faiths that are so important to us.
And those are my feelings on the matter of religion. Goddess bless you for reading this far.
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© Cynthia 2002.